Getting Back to Normal (ish)

It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog so I thought it might be time to talk about the plan to return to normal. I laugh internally when I write this because I am always telling my clients to let me know when they meet someone normal because I really don’t know what normal is. And so it goes more than a year into the pandemic, people are getting vaccinated and many aspects of our life are re-opening. However, many of us are struggling with how to cope and act in the new normal.

For starters, not everyone out there is vaccinated, so that adds a lot of uncertainty of how to proceed. I am happy to say I just got my second vaccine and am so excited for the freedom that comes with that. However, I still have three small children at home that are not vaccinated so the risk of serious illness, while greatly reduced, still nags in the back of my mind all the time. Sure, I can feel free to ditch my mask and resume some activities, but what about my children?

My sister and I have talked about this at length as we both have little ones and we are dying to see each other, but we are also struggling with guilt because we know our kiddos want to see each other and would never forgive us if one of us traveled to see the other without them. So, we are still considering possibilities like a road trip where we can meet halfway, but the thought of 8 hours in a mini van with my youngest, who gets car sick after a 45 minute car ride, sounds pretty rough.

And then we have the school debate. By all accounts, schools, even those that have stayed in person have not shown to be the huge superspreader locations we all worried they might be. However, with Florida schools already talking about dropping the mask mandate, I am once again faced with more difficult decisions. We are so excited my oldest is going to start kindergarten, but how will it work? None of the kids are vaccinated, so does dropping the masks seem like such a great idea?

I recently read an article about a neighboring county and it referenced that they lost three employees this past year due to COVID. While that might seem like a relatively small number, that is still three people who all had families and are no longer with us. It’s easy to look at statistics and numbers and say it wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be, but when I think about the grieving families and the lives loss, it is so sad. To me, even one life lost if it could have been prevented is one too many.

On a lighter note, let’s also talk about how high social anxiety is right now. I never really considered myself to be someone with social anxiety, but I will say I attended my first small networking event in over two years and I was not prepared for how rusty my social skills have become. Not to mention, I had to wear real clothes. After talking to three or four colleagues that I have never met, I found myself forgetting everyone’s names or even what we were talking about as it just felt so strange and unfamiliar. As I left, I even almost fell over the curb and laughed at myself for being so awkward. Hopefully that will get better with more practice and social engagement, but wow did I feel like a fish out of water.

I am writing all this to say, while we are all seeing a much welcomed light at the end of the tunnel, there are still tough decisions that lay ahead. So let’s be kind to one another and honest with one another when we are struggling or feeling awkward. I always feel so comforted when other people show up and are genuine and understanding, rather than trying to act like they have it all together. Because, let’s be honest, none of us have it all together. I recently saw a meme in one of my therapist groups laughing about therapist’s being expected to “have it all together.” Just because we have more coping skills and resources at our finger tips does not mean we don’t have good days and bad days or days when we are better at actually practicing what we preach vs. falling back into old habits.

This will be my first article in another two part series, so stay tuned as I talk about some DBT skills that could be helpful in managing anxiety over the re-opening of the world and helping us to be less awkward as we re-emerge from our caves. Feel free to check me out and if you or someone you know could use more help in coping with life’s struggles, feel free to reach out. My website is : marlarstarneslcsw.com